Change of View..Change of Way??

You know those books, the Eat, Pray, Love ones that show a downtrodden white, westerner who finally takes the plunge and travels for long periods of time and returns home a changed person. Is this a real possibility or just a fairy story?? I half thought it was possible and half believed it was a marketing scheme from a large company. But after traveling to 44 countries and having many friends from around the world, I now believe travel is truly life-changing if you let it be. My friend, from Syria, would talk about American ways of living and communicating and dealing with conflict as dysfunctional and I felt on the defensive at times. While a large part of me knew he was right, I knew I grew up in an abusive home, came into adulthood with trauma, lots of health issues and struggled to make strong relationships, I felt it my duty to defend those things. But now I think I’m starting to be able to see past my American socialization and upbringing. My time in France has finally been the needle in a haystack I needed to see that there are some American oddities that may be hurting us, this is one:

  • We, Americans, feel the need for others to always agree with us, and feel threatened if they have or show a different point of view from our own values and beliefs. When people have a different value I often feel I need to defend my own. I have many friends, Conservative/Republican and Liberal/Democrat who cancel others if they disagree with that person thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.

    • The French like to debate with each other and love when something has a different point of view. It allows for stimulating conversation and an opportunity to grow, change that view/belief, and showcase what ideas/knowledge you have.

Is this way of living healthy for us as a people and society? I feel in my body that it’s not. I instantly feel the need to defend and retreat when others come at me talk about their opposite from me views. I don’t always know their motivation but their demeanor says it’s more to to win a fight, than have a conversation. Maybe our desire for creating safe spaces has led us to separate more than we should from others of differing thought. There’s always a need to separaste from others who are unsafe, like me with my birth mother and sister but then there are others maybe I should stick it out with and try to show them a different way to share their views. Maybe if Americans has the social and communication skills to discuss views we would be so in fear when others disagree. Maybe we could instead listen for their points and opinions and experiences and why behind their views before we discount and go on the offensive. Maybe we could give space to the other to speak and they to us. Differing opinions is okay as long as it’s not putting others in danger and is looking out for our neighbor and going out with live first. 

Travel is a good teacher and has changed my life. What lessons have you learned from traveling?